Rides of the Night and its Observations (What?)

I made these observations in impromptu. All started when I was on my way to KLIA from UIA Gombak.

The night was clear. Half moon and stars filled the sky. The trees, they were all waving at me, bidding me goodbye. I looked back and it was a splendor semester I have ever had and as it ended, I must go back home.

At the bus stop near Farouq UIA, I waited for a bus, and a bus, empty and on rest, parked right in front of the bus stop. The sound of working engine meant that I might get my ride soon (at least what I thought). Unfortunately, it left me a few minutes later. Sigh.

According to my time, I have 25 minutes left before the last train takes off at the Gombak station, 11.45pm, as stated in the website I have searched. There was no time for me. Minutes passed and I have to decide. To wait for a bus? I rather not. I requested a Uber ride instead.

After 7-minute waiting, a car approached from afar, beaming its light and giving a signal to park on the side of the road, in front of the bus stop where the bus had parked. I got in and introduced myself. To my surprise, the driver was also an UIA student.

We have a talk. We were both engineering student, I left the school, though. He stayed and extended for 3 semesters. I reminisced the day I studied all the mathematics and we denied we enjoy it but in the end, it was fun and challenging. What made him stay even though it was a rough sail was that he has to do it. I observed his stiff voice. He was talking about his friends graduating from the university, leaving him as they embarked on another phase of life - working and getting their own money. The stiff voice, that was what I have had a few weeks ago within me when my friends graduated.

We arrived at the LRT. I left him a joke to leave UIA asap and it's boring to stay there any longer. In my heart, I prayed for his best.

With only one passenger, the train left the station.

At 12 am, we arrived at KL Central station. Bad news. The last bus took off from the station to KLIA at 11 pm. I asked around and a taxi driver suggested me to take a cab instead. Midnight price and high fixed price? Not a chance.

I bought a ticket to KLIA2. There were not many passengers and it was a pleasant rest. I woke up later arriving at the bus station in KLIA2. I went straight to the counter to buy a ticket for a transit to KLIA by bus. RM2 by right. Sadly, no transit bus available after 12 am and I have to wait until 5.30 am for the first trip for the day. If that's the case, no problem for me. The problem was, however, when you have a concerned father who was afraid that you might miss the flight due to these casualties, waiting for hours for a transit was a bad idea. I have no choice.

I went outside hoping for a miracle. As if He listened and responded in no time, a transit bus arrived. It was past 12 am and I was surprised. Maybe luck came to greet me like an old friend again. I talked to the bus conductor and asked if the service was still on the roll. The answer shocked me. A yes and no would probably best suited my dilemma. Yes, the bus shall give me a trip to KLIA but no, sir. No for an overpriced trip. He charged me RM10. I believed if taxis would do the same too.

In the end, I requested a Uber ride again.

This time, an old man with a clean black Proton Preve. He greeted me as I entered his car. His name was Uncle A (let's kept it anonymous yea). A 50-year old man from Malacca who lived in KL for most of his lifetime. A government retiree. He told me that age greeted him like an old friend. You thought it sounded bad, no? A lucky I have yet to meet.

He retired 3 years earlier, rest for a while, bought a new car, and became a Uber driver. I asked him why did he make the choice? As a government worker, you can easily get a lot of benefits. In a time of economic crisis such as this year, we all need a secure job. But this was not the deal for Uncle A. He chose to end his career, leaving his office earlier, to have his own job that he could control. Basically, Uber was it. He could do it in the morning or at night, and his working space was not limited. He could drive anywhere upon his customer's request. When I asked how he felt, he seemed to enjoy it at the moment. He felt energized and relax at the same time.

And at the same time too, we found ourselves at KLIA. I paid him a fee and I bid him farewell.

My observations were simply impromptu. But I could see a fine line between these people - all were motivated by money. Their social variability and psychology shaped their reasons but all led to gaining their own income. I claimed no justification for the overprice fees imposed on me, I leave them as they were. People have reasons. All of them - the engineering student, the taxi driver, the bus conductor, and Uncle A, they all have reasons. In all cases, I was depended on my money too, like them, and I was particular in choosing my rides.

Where does these impromptu observations lead me to? What does it teach me?

The economy is one of the basic aspects of human life. Human depends on the economy to survive, to keep up with a dynamic life they build, to not be statics or too slow, else they will be left. (and all the buses left me because I was late!)

Doa Penghidupan

Doa Penghidupan
hasil nukilan AmirullahZul

Ada seutas benang terurai di sisi baju anak kecil. Lompat sedikit akan merosak baju putih yang sudah lama itu. Adapun hasil bermain di tepi pokok, berlarian dengan anak-anak yang umurnya sama sudah pasti akan membuka jahitan baju si anak kecil.

Dari jauh, sang ibu memanggil dengan lembutnya. Si anak kecil masih berlari-lari dengan gah, mencari yang bersembunyi. Semakin di panggil, semakin dia tidak mendengar. Lalu nyaring panggilan memenuhi segenap kawasan kampungnya, dengan nama penuhnya disebut, mata si anak kecil pantas mencari sang ibu. Gusar hatinya takut ada yang dimarah.

Si anak kecil berlari meninggalkan teman lain yang terus bermain. Wajahnya kasar kotor penuh tanah. Seliparnya tertinggal. Kiranya nanti akan diambil setelah usai bicara dengan sang ibu. Langkah semakin besar dan laju saat jelas ibunya berdiri di hadapan rumah kayu beratap beratap biru. Demikian jugalah degup jantungnya.

Sang ibu sudah menanti kepulangan si kecil lincah. Nakal seperti monyet. Tidak kalah berbadan kecil tapi bermain menang berjiwa besar. Dia sudah berdiri di hadapan sang ibu dengan kepala tunduk ke tanah seolah-olah ada salah.

"Ayah sudah pulang."

Nadanya tidak kasar tidak lembut dan bukanlah kebiasaan bagi sang ibu itu yang terkenal dengan budi baiknya. Jadi si anak kecil menjadi lebih takut, khuatir mungkin ada silapnya. Kalau makan, pinggannya sudah dicuci dan diletak atas rak. Mungkin juga kerana baju sekolahnya dibiar atas lantai tapi mustahil. Seingatnya, sudah direndam dalam baldi dan dijemur terus supaya besoknya boleh dipakai lagi. Kalau perihal sekolah, sudah dilangsai semua kerja rumah. Jadi apa?

"Atan, sudah kamu siapkan kerja sekolah?" tanya ibunya.
"Iya, ibu."
"Baju sekolahmu?"
"Ada tu dijemur."
"Sudah makan?"
"Dah."
"Pinggannya?"
"Atan dah kemas."

Cemas. Si anak kecil merasa tidak sedap hati. Apa gerangan sang ibu menyoal kesemua isi yang sudah dia ketahui? Makan sekali dengan sang ibu, membantunya menyiapkan kerja rumah juga sekali, yang mencuci baju pula si anak kecil tapi yang menjemur biasanya sang ibu kerana ampaian tinggi.

"Kamu tahu jam berapa sekarang?"
"Baru jam 4.20 petang, ibu."
"Baiklah. Kamu naik dulu. Solat asar."

Langkah kecil sambung berjalan menuju ke belakang rumah terus ke bilik mandi. Diambilnya gayung air dalam tempayan. Setiap pelusuk tubuhnya dibasahi air yang sedikit panas. Baju kotornya direndam di dalam baldi.

Kemudian dia naik ke atas terus ke biliknya. Kain tuala yang bergantung di hujung katil digapai. Tubuhnya dilap kering. Dia menuju ke tepi katil merapati meja belajarnya. Ada baju berlipat di situ. Dalam cepat mengambil pakaian solatnya, si anak kecil terlihat sebuah kotak. Bawahnya ada plastik baju. Kerana ingin tahu, keduanya diambil dan dibuka.

Ada sepasang baju baru dengan tanda harga sepuluh ringgit di dalam plastik itu. Seluar sukan juga ada. Di dalam kotak, ada peralatan tulis seperti pensil, pemadam, pembaris dan buku. Kesemuanya baru. Meskipun si anak kecil tahu bahawa hari itu bukan hari lahirnya atau hari istimewa sekalipun tetapi hatinya sungguh girang.

Bila sang ayah di depan biliknya, memanggil untuk solat bersama, si anak kecil terus berlari dan memeluk sang ayah. Dia memeluk erat dan berterima kasih berkali-kali. Si ayah membalas peluknya dan menyuruhnya untuk berterima kasih kepada sang ibu. Kerana dialah yang menceritakan barang-barang si anak kecil sudah agak lama. Hidup mereka bukanlah senang, tetapi cukup sekadar untuk berhidup seadanya. Jadi, bukanlah selalu barang si anak kecil dibeli baru.

Si anak kecil terus berlari ke arah ibunya di dapur dan mengucapkan terima kasih. Sang ibu memeluk erat si anak kecil yang satu. Dalam hatinya ada gembira merisik, sayangnya terhadap anak itu. Sang ibu melihat raut wajah si anak kecil dan tubuhnya kemudian ketawa sambil berkata, "Atan, pakailah baju baru kamu dulu nak. Janganlah berbogel berlari cari ibu."

Suasana itu disemat rapi dalam hati si anak kecil. Dalam langkah gembiranya menuju ke bilik, ada doa di kirim buat Tuhannya agar seluruh penghidupan ibu ayahnya diberkati.

My momento

None that I know of but how many do care about our inner self-righteous suicide? Too little to even disseminate the possibility of an occurrence, one can easily create a false assumption and derive a toxic social disorder among those who still believe.

God, if anyone can actually understand the value of acute empathy, only then a little integrity will be given. But not until one left the room and never come back. None. The sacred touch of the divine can only save but the human touch can relieve.

Truth, consider this as a memento. Life comes only when it's the only thing that is left.

Unheard Voices

I feel happy when I hear a kitten meows. When I can't see where the baby is, I try to find it. I love them so much. But not this one time.

I woke to fragile voices of kittens. Probably more than 1. I was tired and sleepy, I couldn't care less. But somehow, the sounds were desperate. I guess they were hungry. So, I walked outside to love them.

As I opened the door, the sight of three unattended kittens at the side of a wall was shocking. One thing I know that it is an unnatural spot for a mom cat to make a home. It's too public. Kitten meows were heavy than usual. Where's their mom cat?

I walked and came closer to one of them and took them to the tender of my palm. What a small creature he is. Who couldn't love such tiny animal? I looked at the other two. There were 2 black kittens and the other one was tortoiseshell. So, I guess the mom cat should have black-white-orange fur as well. But honestly, where is she?

As I gave them comfort, a growl came from the other side of the wall, beside a stair. There I saw a cage. For one moment, I felt devastated. The mom cat was in there. Her nose was bleeding. She was furious I can see it. She moved wildly in the cage responding to the sound of her babies. When she saw me, she growled again. It was a horrible sight. I tried to open the small cage but she aggressively moved to taunt me. She probably thought me as one of those pest control.

I lifted up the cage and carried and placed it right in front of the kittens. From a savage instinct, she stopped and calm down at the sight of her babies. Her big eyes revealed an unconditional love she has for her babies.

I tried to persevere. I came closer once again in an attempt to free her. She enraged again. I lifted the lock and opened the door slowly. She stayed cause it was too small, she couldn't get out. As I pushed the door to give more space for her to be free, a person came.

He was in charged of this uncivilised work. He was the one in power to make the separation between the mom cat and the kittens. He was killing an establishment of love. He was killing it, and I, alas, couldn't do anything until the very end. He was only receiving orders. He was paid. He had to.

I resolved myself, get a self-composure and walked back into my room. At my strength, even when I tried, I failed. But I can't just stop yet.

I want you to listen to the fragile voices of those kittens. If you can't see it, you can look what's closer but far away from you. Palestine and Syria, for instance. How many mothers have been taken away from young children? How many of them are killed? And how many silent voices unheard?

I went back to sleep in hoping for a dream. There, I happily live with the mom cat and the kittens.

Dasar

Dalam kesal usah bertangis
Menjawab soal sudah terbatas,
Hanya mampu dibiar habis
Rasa hati tidak berbalas.

Ada karma menyulam hati
Mencari sendu hancur mati,
Ada waktu tidaklah sakti
Kerna masanya sudah mati.

Masam kabur berulam kata
Bila jiwa sudah melatah,
Mungkin bukan untuk kita
Bila jiwa sudah melatah.

Ahh... Dasar jiwa muda.

by AmirullahZul
1.54am
Monday, 15 August 2016